Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Lincoln Automobiles' New Vehicle: The Incontinentental

writ up in '08
You know, with science and technology increasing our life spans longer than we ever thought possible, we have to be ready to make changes to our lifestyles to keep up. The world’s leading companies are aware of this, and have been keeping themselves on the cutting edge of this growing market: the ultra-elderly.

That’s what led Lincoln Automobiles to create their newest vehicle: The Lincoln Incontinental. Equipped with a driver's side built-in IV drip hook & insulin injector, the Incontinental goes above and beyond the normal expectations of comfort. While other companies may be content providing their vehicles with an OnStar
security system, Lincoln exceeds expectations by including a live, in-car nurse: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

With leather bedpan bucket seats and a forty horsepower engine (capable of accelerating to top speeds of 35 miles per hour), the Incontinental provides both a smooth ride and the dependability you expect.

When my grandfather turns 104 next year I’ll know what to get him. The Lincoln Incontinental.

Lincoln. Caring for the medicared. securing the socially secured.


  1. You forgot to mention that it runs on fuel refined via the burning away of our goverment's fiscal viability.

  2. Nice.
    Does the driver's side seat convert to a hospital bed?

  3. I love the Incontinental - too clever! Dad